Monday, 20 April 2015

Two things life has taught me

1. Wear your glasses more. Soft-focus is attractive but deceptive.

2. Don't leap too quickly to worst-case scenarios.

Passing unspectacled through the sitting room en route to the bathroom, I notice a small white stain on the floor. It looks as if someone's heel has forcefully ground approximately three and a half  Mint Imperials into the carpet. I don't eat sweets, so I know this cannot be the cause, but am temporarily stumped. It can't be soap powder because I use liquid. It isn't flour, because I don't bake. I get a cloth from under the sink and start to scrub the stain, which is unyielding. I apply Vanish and more elbow-grease, to no avail.  I decide that somehow I must have splashed the carpet with bleach and that I am therefore stuck with this blemish for good. Shit. How to cover it? A rug would look ummm, unmotivated in this spot, but I go and dig out a throw and a large cushion to experiment with. I arrange the throw and cushion as if for a picnic. They do not cover the stain which now appears on the throw, even brighter against the dark red.

I realise that I have just spent ten minutes trying to wipe up a patch of sunlight.

Saturday, 4 April 2015

Happy Easter


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