Let Christian men beware: experience teaches that there is no depth to which the invert will not stoop. Earlier this month, the Pink News, a ‘gay’ male organ, published an article extolling a new Mobile Telephone Application archly named ‘Kroozr’, which it envisaged would render less toilsome the sodomites’ task of propagating their perversion:
'A new iPhone app is threatening to knock Grindr off its perch as the number one app for gay men. Kroozr claims to use smartphone technology to determine whether men in the user’s vicinity are gay and can even filter out undesirables, such as those wearing sandals with socks. According to creator Peter Kelly, the app takes the guesswork out of gaydar, cuts down on valuable ‘sussing out’ time and weeds out weirdos.
'All users need to do is turn on their smartphone and wait for Kroozr to assess nearby men with its inbuilt Kinsey Scale,’ Mr Kelly said. “Kroozr is the new future of gay dating that will turn every trip to M&S, every queue for the cashpoint, every Boris bike trip into a hot party full of your type of guy. Just fill in the details of your ideal man, turn on the app and go about your business. When you get within eyeshot of a hot guy, you can check him out on Kroozr.”
This invitation to carnal impropriety reached the desk of Mr. Stephen Green of Christian Voice. ('I came to faith in God through seeing the ducks on a pond in People’s Park, Grimsby.') Mr. Green is a man of righteousness, of late unjustly pilloried for allegedly disciplining his wife and children with a ‘witch’s broom’. (Dare one ask of those who object to this, what should he have used?) From Mr. Green, the sodomite encounters deservèd check:
You really couldn’t make it up … Everything about the depravity, the sadness, the lack of normality, even of humanity, the promiscuity driven by the pathology of homosexuality is distilled into this story.
But now the Uranians have revealed that they had indeed 'made it up', and that the article in Pink News was published on the 1st of April, when it is traditional for those rendered gullible by their self-righteousness to be entertainingly duped by people with a sense of humour – and it is a fact that no spectacle moves the inverts to mirth more than that of a member of God’s elect skidding on the embrowned KY jelly of their ‘wit’. Notwithstanding, Mr. Green arose, wiped off the skid-marks, adjusted his attire and maintained his dignity as best he could:
Although I was initially taken in by Pink News's April Fool, that is only because it made so much sense to anyone with a tiny bit of knowledge of the 'gay scene' and of recent technological advances.
Let us pray.