I was marking essays on the train this morning, hoping for a few howlers to beguile the time. None, unfortunately. There was some well-controlled language, which is gratifying to one's teacherly self, but not much fun. There was some crap, too, which is just exasperating. Here's a sample:
Although, it would be nice make own decisions, make own mistakes sometimes and solve out the problems which they face as they say 'from lie we get experience' Also Adults believe no way to leave home anytime that encourages them to became completely responsible and dependable and also good for judgement.
Quite. Couldn't have put it better myself.
No choice morsels today, then. Nothing that ranked with the collectables I have been carrying round for years:
'She broke the heel of hers shoe, and they fell down humping'
'In Cambridge I was had enjoyably in a punt.'
'Boys don't like to study, they prefer kicking their balls.'
'I was kept awake by the sound of the animals screwing at night.'
'I wrote my answer on the other shit'
'I'm study scrotal management.'
However, I did find that in her essay Dalyal had refered to our species as 'humane beans', and I thought that sounded dead cute.
This morning I bumped into Khulud, who last summer got away with a heavily plagiarised essay because nobody could prove conclusively that it was not her own work.
'You look different,' she said.
'Yeah, you look bitter. Maybe you got married?'
This was not a cynical comment on the holy estate of matrimony, but Khulud's explanation of my allegedly improved appearance. Saudis almost always replace the /e/ phoneme with /ɪ/