Monday, 12 October 2009

Don't Stand so Close to Me

Don’t come too close, I have a lurgy. Probably not swine flu, as my temperature is not high enough for that, but it is a pretty swinish cold, and as long as it persists it will cost me £112 per day in lost hours. If I worked alone in an office I would go in, but you cannot maintain any teacherly dignity if your eyes are like currants, your voice sounds like that of Mercedes McCambridge doing the demon in The Exorcist and you splatter what looks like a whole beaten egg over your shirt front each time you sneeze. You aren’t eating, are you?


Mediterranean kiwi said...

get well soon!

vilges suola said...

Να'σαι καλά, Μαρία μου!

Fionnchú said...

Apropos of little, one of our family's honorary "uncles" regales the weeuns with his rendition of Miss McCambridge's "your mother sucks cocks in hell!" line regularly. But, yes, hope you're soon on the mend. Rest up!

vilges suola said...

Thanks! When I was at university a friend of mine did a pitch perfect imitation of that line, usually on an echoing college staircase, but amended it to the incongruously genteel 'your mother sells handbags in Harrods!'.


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