God's original, non user-friendly banana before human beings tampered with it.
I had a red, bold, upper-case wobbly at those who took my rather heavy-handed parody of a Fred Phelps sermon at face value and supposed me to be as toilet-mouthed a homophobe as Freddy himself. Some people, honestly... I huffed and tutted at such literal mindedness. But us too-clever-by-half smart-arse ironists miss the point too, sometimes. Watch this hilarious send-up of a pair of smiling, squeaky-clean Creationists extolling the perfection of God's creation, as evidenced by the banana. It's a pitch-perfect parody of creationist piffle, from the bosky setting to the folksy joshin' through the goody-two-shoes clothing to the intolerably smug conclusion from no evidence whatsoever. But maybe you know what I didn't: they are not joking. The pair of them are for real. They really do think that explaining how come bananas are so cool is 'the atheist's nightmare', God bless and keep them.
The banana man, Ray Comfort, believes every bloody word he's saying, and he has just written a book, entitled You Can Lead an Atheist to Evidence but You Can't Make Him Think. The very title makes you want to rip his head off and piss down his windpipe. (I threw in that bit of gratuitously violent language just so any of Ray's mates who might read this can congratulate themselves on how right they are and how timely is this book.) The Christian Post tells us the book 'soared to the top of Amazon.com's sales charts, nabbing top spots in the Atheist category and Apologetics category... The book, subtitled "Answers to Questions from Angry Skeptics," is a response to a movement known to many evangelical leaders as Militant Atheism, a new breed of atheists who aim to eliminate Christianity.'
Eliminate Christianity, quotha! This stance of embattled hero fighting off Evil is common in the Dungeons and Dragons world of Evangelical Christianity, where they enjoy thinking themselves widely persecuted for their beliefs. In that world they are also convinced that acceptance of Jesus as saviour is a moral duty, and a sign of maturity. Anyone who refuses to accept, or who like me is an apostate, has not arrived at disbelief via thought and study of evidence, but is merely a stubborn, rebellious child.
In Western Europe we have probably gone too far down the road of syncretism and skeptical spirituality for these people to seem like any kind of threat to us, but fundamentalism in the USA, Africa and Asia needs watching. Dangerous people, these self-righteous paranoiacs.
The phallic analogies (sits comfortably in the hand, etc.) have been done, we won't go there.